3 Steps to Always Get What You Want (or Need)

8 03 2013

Confused manPretty exciting title, isn’t it?! I bet you’re wondering how I can make such an outrageous claim.

Let me show you…

Long ago, I struggled with career choices. Job ads, career postings, and referral positions alternately bored, repelled, or filled me with dread.

Still, I knew it was time to pick something – ANYthing – to prevent complacency from pitching a tent in my brain.

Thank goodness for Mom.

While I was banging my head against the proverbial career ladder, my mother stepped in with a solution that was epic in its simplicity:

DEFINE IT

Truly, the secret to getting what you want starts with knowing WHAT the heck you want. While waffling between possibilities, I had utterly failed to define what I was looking for.

I may have been unsure, at the time, precisely which field I wanted to enter but, as Mom sagely noted, I sure knew how many hours I wanted to work, how far I was willing to drive, the type of coworkers I wanted to interact with, the quality of management I was looking for, the level of pay, the types of duties I wanted to be involved in, and even whether they would allow pets.

So, riddle me this: What do YOU truly want? Start with the foundation – a career, a significant other, a house, a pet, a lifestyle, a vacation… the list is endless.

Now, define it down to the last detail. What does it look like, feel like, act like? How does it work? How does it make you feel? Who else is involved? And don’t forget to define a realistic time frame in which it should happen.

This process can take days. Some of my lists (e.g. what I wanted in a husband) took several years, but just look how well it worked!! Soul mate!

Remember that what you want has to be something for YOU. You can’t WANT a person into becoming something they’re not. You can’t WANT Mt. Everest to suddenly appear in your backyard. But you CAN want yourself into a role, a relationship, a success, and an adventure.

RECOGNIZE IT

If you’ve done your homework in part one, part two should be a cakewalk. You already know precisely what you want, so you’re prepared to recognize opportunity when it knocks. It may come in unexpected forms – be alert, be open, be adventurous.

And if you want to improve the odds, refer back to your definitions regularly. Read them like an affirmation. The more often you review your list, the more adeptly you’ll spot stepping stones as they arise.

ACT ON IT

You have to believe in yourself to complete this final step – I mean, REALLY believe in yourself. Seizing opportunities can be intimidating, but doing so is how you get what you want.

This is the step where I believe most people lose momentum. That’s why “all talk and no action” is part of our day-to-day lingo. In the words of Nike’s immortal tagline: “Just Do It”.

The results may surprise you. Sometimes the process brings you, instead, what you truly need. Celebrate when this happens. Your “want” has grown up!

And there you have it: Three steps to always get what you want. My business, my husband, my home, my activities are testament to its success.

Let’s hear yours!

Author’s Note: Thanks, Mom!

“If you’re not actively involved in getting what you want, you don’t really want it.”  ~Peter McWilliams

Dawn M. Tomczyk-Bhajan  |  DMT Artistry, LLC   |  www.DMTArtistry.com

All content Copyright © 2013 DMT Artistry, LLC, unless otherwise noted. All Rights Reserved.





Let’s Call It What It Is: Stalling for Time

8 06 2012

Cookie thiefThere’s nothing like a little family perceptiveness to make you face up and fess up, and my family’s caught me with my hand in the cookie jar – so to speak – stalling for time.

When I first launched the “re-branding of DMT Artistry learn-along blog” concept, I had an office build in the works, branding ideas galore and a schedule that allowed for directing reserve creative energies toward my own projects. Since that time, I have an office that seems to enjoy being permanently under construction and the brainstorms are fairly pouring out of my ears. But it’s that last part that’s really thrown a trip-wire across the trail.

Business is booming. It’s been all kinds of phenomenal. And it’s tempting to just ride the wave and enjoy the rush. It certainly demands a great deal of my time. But waves have a habit of either drowning you or beaching you places you’d rather not be stranded. Riding waves puts circumstances in control of your life, instead of the other way around.

Now is the time when it’s MOST critical for me to not only shore up my boat, but generate my own waves with a marketing campaign that will keep my company growing and powering forward.

My goal was never to be an overnight success (well, okay, maybe in my daydreams). Overnight success, to me, is strapping a saddle on a tsunami and gambling my career and life on whether or when to bail. Simply owning and operating a business is enough of a rodeo for this cowgirl, thank you very much. I’ve been taking the “quick and steady” (“slow and steady” doesn’t sit well with my Type A personality) approach.

Mismatched water and rodeo analogies aside, remember how I told you, back at the start, that I wanted you to learn from my mistakes? Well, right now I’m “‘fessing up” to one doozy of a blunder. It’s called complacency.

Complacency comes in all forms. It can be an unwillingness to change. It can be self-imposed ignorance. Or it can be one seemingly legitimate excuse after another, thrown up like orange traffic barrels and police tape, to hold you back from your best.

I expect that YOU expect me to conclude with declarations of taking control, stepping up to the plate, making Herculean efforts. I will do all of these critically corny things but, more importantly, I had a support network that called me out in the first place. Let me do the same for you.

Whatever it is that you’ve been postponing indefinitely, I’m calling your bluff. It’s not that you haven’t found the right people, don’t have the time, or just plain can’t do it – it really isn’t. These are all manageable hurdles, and we both know it. Dig a little deeper and figure out realistically, honestly why you’re holding yourself and/or your company back.

Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of effort or anything in between, if your passion is still there and you have faith that you’re doing the right thing, you’ll get through it.

We’ll both get through it.

(Incidentally, yes, I am aware of the irony of stalling for time with a post about stalling for time.)

“We’re all in this together.”  ~Red (from the “Red Green Show“)

Dawn M. Tomczyk-Bhajan  |  DMT Artistry, LLC   |  www.DMTArtistry.com

All content Copyright © 2012 DMT Artistry, LLC, unless otherwise noted. All Rights Reserved.