What You Can Learn From What You Can’t Stand

Let me tell you what I don’t like…

I am not a fan of pompous posturing.

I heartily dislike drama queens.

I can’t stand entrepreneurial “all talk and no action”.

I loathe complacency.

I deeply despise the “entitlement” mentality.

And I downright HATE the fact – sigh – that I’ve been personally guilty of all of the above.

Anyone who knows anything about human nature knows that passing judgement is as easy as cow-tipping a one-legged heifer.

But let me throw in a hypothesis that I alluded to in my previous post: The qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that we like least in others is often a reflection of the qualities, characteristics, and behaviors we like least about ourselves.

This isn’t necessarily a tit-for-tat conversion. If you’re disgusted by simpering social leaches, that doesn’t mean you ARE one. But when you accidentally let slip some teachers-pet-ish talk, do you give yourself the mental equivalent of a stiff right hook?

And if, like me, you sneer at unnecessary dramatics, check to see whether you bring out the thumb screws when you catch YOURSELF “whining”.

This is typically a gut-level reaction, but just think of the value in raising it to the level of awareness. Subconscious self punishment gets you a cozy seat in the psychologist’s office. Conscious recognition offers you an opportunity to become a better person. I know which one I’d prefer.

The next time you find yourself feeling particularly annoyed by a fellow human, do a mental check-in. What about his or her behavior do you particularly dislike? More to the point, does this mirror a personal quality with which you are less than pleased?

If, upon reflection, the answer is “yes”… bingo. You’ve just merged onto the road to self betterment.

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”  ~ Ernest Hemingway

Dawn M. Tomczyk-Bhajan  |  DMT Artistry, LLC

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